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  • Writer's pictureJazmine Hughes

“Be grateful someone finds you attractive”

I am confused about people who believe that  because someone has a disability they do not have the right to have preferences, therefore they should take what they are given when it comes to love. What sort of ablesist bullshit is that!

So what these people are saying is, blind people should not be concerned about the physical attractions of their partners because they can’t see? voice’s should not be a problem because hearing impaired people can't hear the same? Or that  anyone with any type of disability need not to have an opinion and ought to shut up and be grateful that someone loves them. GTFOH. 

Listen, I like my men dark, funny and with facial hair, I also love deep voices and they need to always smell nice, it’s what I’m attracted to. Just because I have low vision doesn't mean I don’t have a type. Don’t forget my other senses, I can touch, hear (well kind of anyway!) smell, taste (👀 sorry to far 😜)  so why wouldn’t I have requirements? Oh wait another thing (get ready for this one, it’s abominable!) I also prefer him to be taller than me and I need him to drive. It’s an absolute requirement. 

Disclaimer: morales, personality. Intellect etc is more important to me, however for the sake of this conversation, I am focusing on the physicalities of the person. 

By somebody thinking I shouldn’t be choosy about what I want in a person just because I have a disability.  Is suggesting that I am less than someone who is not disabled, it is saying I’m less human and that my opinion does not matter.  It is saying that I must be grateful to any person who shows me the smallest fragment of interest because I am not worthy of love or attraction. 

Questioning me about why physical attraction is important is fine,“Why do you need someone taller than you?” “Why do they need to drive?” “Why does looks matter?” These are common questions which are asked often, but never question me about why I have a type if I have a disability. If you have ever thought of think this way, check yourself. 

Rant over. Have a nice day. Xx


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